Trying to keep the Faith

 Our little cutie sporting a pillowcase dress made by a group for the kids in the Rescue Center.

 

 This has been a hard week. I truly believed we were finally going to hear something, so it's been a struggle to keep my head up and not let the fears and rumors circulating around Haitian adoptions again really stress me out. 

We read online this week that with the new process they will probably enter us into IBESR in Haiti and then we won't officially get our referral until we exit. The time we saw was at least 6 months to exit. This seriously crushed me, because this would mean that we won't actually have her referral for  a LONG time yet. IF we can even get her referral. I took a deep breath. Talked to God for a bit and tried to see the positive that this might be a good thing in the end and maybe will make our process a bit faster. Hoping anyways. 

Then yesterday I was chatting with the lady who runs the Rescue Center in Haiti where Clemene currently is. She told me they were just finishing the paperwork to send to GLA that they are hoping to enter into IBESR. Again I was so disappointed because I thought this paperwork was going to happen 2 weeks ago and I was told we would be hearing whether or not she was ours by the end of this week. I tried to not be frustrated but honestly it was hard because this has been how this process has gone all along. Someone says it will happen by this date and everyone gets busy and nothing happens. I asked that they please try to get it sent to GLA today so it doesn't get set on a desk and put off for some reason. So hoping it really does get sent today. 

There have been some weird rumors going around about how Haiti is going to do adoptions from now on and no one really seems to know anything. Dixie, the director of our adoption agency wrote this today on Facebook~

 

I am leaving for the USA on Friday for 1 month. I will be in Colorado at our office for a week and then will be visiting churches in Illinois for 3 Sundays. Please pray for our staff who will be meeting with IBESR legal staff about some questions on the new adoption process on Friday morning. We are asking for some clarification of things we've heard recently through different sources. Those things are different than what Mme Villadrouin told us at a meeting a week ago! so much is unknown about the new procedure and things change almost daily and depends who you ask. Hopefully, will get some answers although I am not counting on them being the final answers! I think as they implement the new procedure, things will change because theory does not always translate well into the practical way of doing things! Will let you know....

 

It's SO hard (at times impossible) to read these things and not start to let your mind race and then start to panic and then get sad and on and on and on. I also know from the past that when Dixie is gone seems thing to move even slower. :(

 

We will literally be one of the first families in the new process of adopting from Haiti. We aren't sure if this is good or bad, but it is what it is. We are trusting that God has this and even in the frustration and fear we always seem to feel like she's our girl. She already in our hearts and we love her so much. 

 

Please pray that despite all of the rumors and crazy things that seem to be happening with Haitian adoptions that they will be able to place us with her in the very near future and also that we will be able to somehow share with people that she is ours. Even if we need to keep it a secret (with all of you lovely people included of course ;) ), we just want to be able to celebrate that she is our girl. 

 

Another weird/hard thing that happened this week. We had a medical book author email to ask permission to use a picture of Clemene when she had terrible kwashiorkor in a medical book for educational purposes. This just broke my heart. So crazy to think of your child being in a medical book because of the severe malnutrition that almost killed her. :( I wanted to be able to give her a hug and let her know she has a family that will always love her and provide her with everything she needs. So hard to think of her suffering so terribly.

This has definitely been a rough road at times, and I know I sound pretty defeated right now, but we will continue to fight the fight and we know that having our friends and family praying is what is getting us through. Sorry if a lot of this sounds like venting. Sometimes just writing it out makes me feel better and it's much easier for me to post it hear than say it over and over. 

Love you all and thank you for praying!